Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
