Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
