Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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