Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
