Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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