if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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