Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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