I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
