Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
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