So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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