Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
