remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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