Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Blood and glitter go together right?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
