so let's talk penis.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
