I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
