I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
