he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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