Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
