i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
