I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
