Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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