what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
