dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
