You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
