Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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