Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
