I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
