If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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