I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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