are you so shy because you have an std?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
