Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
