There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
