I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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