I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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