If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
