I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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