Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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