So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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