Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
