the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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