What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I need to sanitize my soul.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
