Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
