Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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