I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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