All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
