If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
