did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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