Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
