That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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