fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
