I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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